If you want to work well with others and have top-notch communication skills,  you need to understand how to resolve conflict with others. Conflict feels like negative emotions thrown around.  Most individuals have a limited vocabulary to express their negative feelings. When you can’t articulate your emotions, you will feel like no one ever understands you, and become stuck in a cycle of frustration. 

When you label your own feelings, others may perceive it as a sign of strength and vulnerability. As you manage your emotions, others begin to feel that it’s okay to share their emotions, which can lead to solving hidden problems in the relationship. This also leads to transparent communication and helps build trust between the parties.  

Similarly, you may want to call out or label people’s emotions respectfully. During a heated conversation, you want to show that you are genuinely concerned about how they feel.  By labeling it accurately, you may actually be helping the other person identify and clarify their emotions and their issues. Besides, we all sometimes fall into the trap of getting so mad and upset at someone to the point where we lose grasp of what is truly bothering us. The emotions are all blended and the problems get mixed.  

Through better labeling, you can start to unravel the layers, identify each negative idea, and single out the problem that caused it. Little by little, this exercise gives you a better chance of revealing the underlying problems.  Commonly used words that express negative feelings have been grouped in word families to help you clarify your dictionary of emotions. 

Word Family 1: Fear, Anxiety, Worry, Nervousness

Are you experiencing unease or distress when thinking about something? If that sounds like you, you may be feeling anxious. 

Are you feeling slightly uneasy yet a little bit of excitement at the news? Feeling nervous is normal.

Are you worried about the outcome of something? Excessive worrying is unhelpful and harmful. 

Are you afraid of something that might happen? Fear is another word. 

Word Family 2: Anger, Rage, Derision

Are you displeased at something? It is normal to get angry sometimes. 

Is your feeling of anger intense?  Rage scares people around you.  

Is someone derisive towards you?  They are ridiculing or laughing at you. 

Word Family 3: Disappointment, Hurt, Sadness

Are you unhappy at times? Turbulence can toughen us and help us appreciate the good times. 

Did your expectations or hopes come tumbling down? You may be disappointed with someone. 

Do you feel attacked? Is your pain emotionally driven? Think about whether you were hurt by someone. 

Word Family 4: Bewilderment, Confusion, Skepticism

Do you have doubts about someone? You are skeptical about their behavior or actions. 

Are you puzzled by something? You must be confused or bewildered. 

Word Family 5:
Self-doubt, Self-consciousness, Defensiveness, Embarrassment, Shame

Are you feeling like you aren’t able to do anything?  You might have bits of self-doubt.

Are you always focused on how others see your actions and behavior? You might be feeling overly self-conscious. 

Do you take offense to people’s words easily? Do you feel a sudden need to be right? Your defensiveness might be kicking in. 

Do you feel hot to your cheeks? You are embarrassed by something.

Do you feel like you shouldn’t have done something and feel a bit of guilt? You might be ashamed of your behavior. 

Word Family 6: Annoyance, Impatience, Frustration

Are you bothered by something? You may be annoyed by it.

Is your disappointment leading to outbursts and feelings of dissatisfaction? You are frustrated by the problem.

Are you restless all the time? Do you find that you can’t accept any delays? You may be working impatiently. 

Word Family 7: Jealousy, Betrayal, Loneliness

Are your emotions being affected by other’s successes or advantages? You may be jealous of it even if you don’t want to admit it.

Do you feel like you can’t trust someone anymore because of something they did or said? You may be feeling betrayed by him or her. 

Do you feel isolated or lack connection with others? You’re feeling lonely.

Graphics: Interviewing Vectors by Vecteezy

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